Bali and Lombok trip - a review

Bali and Lombok were our travel destinations for late June as we were told these places had beautiful beaches, great shopping, a fun environment, and we’d love it. They were wrong. We researched our journey using the Lonely Planet guidebook, photos and video on Google maps, videos on YouTube, and read some blogs. Lonely planet was sometimes inaccurate, the photos and videos on Google maps and YouTube are of the best moments in traveller’s journeys, and a lot of blogs seemed to be a marketing tool run by businesses. Consequently, my wife and I decided we would document our journey and review cities, beaches, hotels, restaurants, ships, planes, and travel systems along the way. We will share some of the motion footage, photos and writing from the trip. If you intend to travel to Bali or Lombok and want some advice, please leave a comment and I will get back to you. Here we go…

Day 1

Nervous excitement kept my wife and I awake most of the night. ‘Have I packed the camera batteries? The mobile charger? Passports? Oh no – where are the plane tickets?’ These thoughts circulate our minds from midnight until the alarm at 6am. We had very shallow sleep. The initial feeling I had when I woke up was ‘It’s too bloody cold and I need more sleep.’ It is winter in Australia and the temperature is about 15 degrees Celsius. I tell my wife that by sunset this afternoon we will be sipping on cocktails in 30 degree heat on Kuta beach in Bali. This lifts our spirits. We endure the cold, pack on the layers of clothes and start walking to the train station.

We are catching the air train to the airport at 6:54am. My wife is a slim, small-framed Korean girl who thinks it is always best to pack everything into a large suitcase with wheels. I am an average Australian fellow who thinks the only way to travel is with a backpack. Thank goodness, our train arrives on time. I carry all our bags onto the train, which are very light – our plan is to fill them with all the shopping we can do in Bali.

On the air train we talk about our accommodation preferences. My wife prefers 5 star luxuries and I prefer to kick it back in a similar manner to the local villagers when in the third world. Our mindsets are like yin and yang and the only way for both of us to enjoy a holiday is to be flexible. Consequently, we agree to stay in roughly 3 star accommodation under 40USD per night with hot water where possible and upgrade hotels toward the end of the trip.

When we arrive at the airport, we are told that there is a problem and staff cannot find our names on the list. We are flying Strategic Airlines – a new, full service, Australian owned carrier. We tell ourselves that there are always minor teething problems with new airlines. Our flight had already been cancelled once and we had not been informed. After roughly 15 minutes the staff confirm our booking with Student Flights and add our names to the list. Luckily the plane was not full otherwise we would have missed this plane also.

The flight seemed long despite being only 6.5 hours. The plane appears to be very old and there does not seem to have sufficient staff to cater to the passengers. Also, the seats seem as if they are closer together than other flights we have taken. Later we realized this is just an illusion as we are both very tired. The seats were actually rather comfortable with a unique lower back adjustment on the seat. Nevertheless, the movies were not working properly and that whiskey and cola cost $6USD – only beer and wine are free. I remind myself that we only paid $1100USD for return flights for both of us (that is $550USD each). This eased the tension. So, my wife and I had a beer each, watched a couple of movies (despite having to wait for them to work), and then 6.5 long hours later we were landing in Bali.

Literally, as soon as we walked out of the aircraft passenger chute there were people EVERYWHERE.  Another 4 or 5 planes seemed to arrive at exactly the same time. The initial impact was BANG! Before we even got to the visa counter there were people with signs asking us if we were LI or SMITH and ushering us to go with them. We politely said no, lined up to get our visas on the left (something you MUST do prior to lining up in the VERY long immigration line). The people in front of us did not know they had to purchase their visa (which currently costs $25USD) in the visa line. I told them one person could purchase the entire groups visas and not to leave the line as it would take them a further 2 hours to get their visa and then re-enter the back of the immigration line. It was very busy – and it is only shoulder season. It took us roughly 1.5 hours to get to the front of the line and out of the airport.

ADVICE – if the airport is busy, one person line up at the visa line and buy a visa for the entire family/group while the rest line up in the immigration line. This will save time.

It takes a further 40 minutes to arrive at our hotel named Balisani Padma, which we booked through Student Flights in Australia for $34USD per night. We expected the hotel to be dirty and old, as we had checked out the reviews on Trip Advisor prior to arriving in Bali. The initial impression is that the reviews were correct. Thirty years ago this would have been a 3.5 star resort and THE place to go in the Legion Seminyak area. Nowadays it is in need of renovation and consequently, it looks dirty. The poor lighting does not improve the situation. After careful observation we agree that we do not need to buy bleach and clean the bathroom – it is old but sanitary. The bathtub is rusty. We remind ourselves that it is only $34USD per night, that there is a swim up bar, and that we wont be in the hotel most of the time anyhow.

Room No. at Balisani Padma

Toilet at Balisani Padma

Old bathroom at Balisani Padma

Main room with private balcony at Balisani Padma

That night we have a local meal; walk the streets of Legion (jalan jalan) and return at midnight. The staff are sitting around the pool and the nice security guard talks with us in semi-broken English about our evening. We asked if the kitchen was still open and they said they would call the chef who will be there in 10 minutes to cook for us. We told them we did not want to wake up the chef and that we could wait till breakfast. Ten minutes later a security guard approaches us very apologetically and said the chef was there and we could now order if we wanted to. I could not believe it – they woke the chef up on the chance that we still wanted food despite telling them we would just get snacks from the Minimart (24 hour store) across the road. Plus, the meals are only $4.50USD each and therefore they make only little money from it – hardly a reason to wake up the chef. We thanked them for their efforts but felt awful that they went to such extreme measures to make us happy. We thought: ‘Are they treating us like this because they think we were on our honeymoon or do they treat everyone like this?’

Day 2 - after midnight (continuing from Day 1 as we are still awake)

The bed is great. King size, firm, and comfortable. We sleep well, until…. A loud, yobbo Aussie bogan arrives home from a night on the grog. He brought with him a local girl and they are very excited and animated. It was not until then that we realized the walls are very thin and the smallest sound travels through them. At first our happy neighbours laugh, talk loudly and share their life stories. We hear everything. The poor girl has lost her father and she is trying to support her entire family. She says her English is the best so she has the best chance to make an income. After the chit-chat they get down to business. He negotiates a price of $40USD and then the very long, intimate and loud sexual encounter takes place. They both seemed to enjoy their time a lot. We, however, just want sleep.

After getting roughly 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep we awoke at 7am and had breakfast. The reviews on Travel Advisor suggest the breakfast at the Balisani Padma is horrid. I disagree.

Breakfast on the 3rd morning at Balisani Padma Hotel - reasonable for the price of hotel.

The breakfast is basic and has some variety with a combination of western and Indonesian foods. The chef is happy to cook eggs to my liking. Her English is ‘small’ and she does not understand the concept of soft eggs. I stand beside her until the egg whites are cooked and then tell her I would like the eggs right now. She seems surprised but, reluctantly, puts the soft eggs on my plate. Another guy beside me orders an omelet with capsicum, onion and chili sauce. The chef cooks it up for him. We eat our breakfast, agree that it was not too bad (it is included in our room price) and decide we will try to do some shopping today and see the beach.

We approach reception and enquire about getting a taxi to go to a shopping center with fixed prices. The receptionist does not understand and hears shopping. He says he will organize a taxi to Discovery Shopping Mall for 60,000 IDR ($6USD). We thought that was very high as we only paid 70,000IDR from the airport via private van. We decline, walk down the stairs and see the same security guard from the night before. He has not gone home to sleep yet. He asked us where we want to go and hails a metered taxi for us. He double checks that the driver will use the meter and then smiles and says with a thick Indonesian accent, ‘Have good day.’

The taxi fare cost 28,000 IDR ($2.80USD). Upon arriving the taxi driver told us not to talk to the men standing with the police. He said they are bad men trying to sell lottery shares. I thanked him and asked if he does private tours. He said his name was Ardika and that he can do a tour for us tomorrow for 350,000 IDR ($35USD). I thanked him and left with his business card.

As soon as Ardika drove off, the ‘bad men’ came across to us and tried to push brochures into our hands. It was then we realized they were selling time shares to apartments in Kuta. The guy did not take no for an answer and told us the shopping center was closed and to come with him instead. We laughed when the security guard opened the shopping center door for us and welcomed us in. It would appear Ardika was right – those men were not good people. We walked through the shopping center but were very disappointed with the shops inside.  Elaine wanted her hair coloured and a perm. The hairdresser quoted her $80 – 100USD and said it would take 4 hours. Elaine was not happy. She said it was too much. We walked around Discovery Mall for a while before deciding it was an expensive mall catering to those that would prefer to have gone to Europe for holiday but settled on Bali because it was closer. We left the mall and headed to Kuta beach.

PERSONAL STORY:- Ardika originally comes from Lovina and is married with children. He drives a taxi for 18 hours per day and regularly sleeps in it. His wife and children live 1.5 hours drive away from Kuta (where he works). His wife does not work and Ardika makes roughly 100USD per month. He drives home to see his family once per fortnight. He lives a tough life but is still a very humble man. His story is not uncommon. 

Kuta beach, Bali. Okay, but nothing special. Too many hawkers.

Kuta beach is nothing special. It is crowded and commercial. There are many tourists on the beach and nearly as many locals trying to sell tourists everything from a massage ($5USD 1 hour), hair braiding, food and drinks to surfing lessons, crossbows with arrows ($20USD), blow darts, knives and sarongs. The locals seem to be competing aggressively with each other and, if you stop in certain parts, you will get half a dozen old ladies trying to sell everything to you all at once. Elaine and I made the mistake of stopping to watch a young girl get her hair braded and several old ladies try to massage us, plat Elaine’s hair, offer a sarong and more. It felt like an ambush and we politely thanked them and told them we were going to a warung (restaurant), then jalan jalan (walk the streets looking at shops) and then will come back later. They do not seem happy but let us leave so they can ambush the next couple that stop on the beach.

We walk for a long time along the beach prior to finding Poppies lane. We walk along it ashamed by a number of the T-shirts that obviously cater to the Aussie bogans who visit Kuta. It was sad to see young Indonesian children playing on the street next to shirts that say ‘Two in the pink, one in the stink’, ‘Pussy Hut’, ‘Fuck off fat chicks’ and stickers that use the C bomb, demonstrate homophobia, espouse the values of boganism and are generally more uncouth than the shirts. The shirt telling people to go to Bunnings (the national hardware store that put nearly all the smaller hardware stores in Australia out of business) buy some timber, build a bridge and get the F* over it really demonstrates to me that Australian bogan culture is having an impact in Bali. I feel sad for the locals and somewhat responsible. ‘What if tourists never came to Bali,’ I thought. We decided we would visit some more isolated parts of Bali at a later date to see if we could answer this question.

We soldiered on past many of the stores in Poppies lane without buying anything. The merchandise is largely the same and caters largely to bogans. There are a few items within each store that might interest the average traveller but the locals aggressive ‘sales skills’ are likely to either push you away.

Full beauty treatment on Poppies 2, Kuta

Eventually, we found another Salon named HaruKaru on Poppies 2. It looked legitimate. My wife was happy with the price and we went in. After careful consideration and a rather lengthy discussion with staff, Elaine chose to dye her hair 2 different colours, get a massage, a manicure, a pedicure, a hair cream bath (some sort of hair treatment and head massage) and get some waxing done. All this took 4.5 hours and cost a total of $60USD. A British lady named Anita was getting a massage and her partner, named Biren, was waiting – so was I. Biren and I started talking and agreed to let the ladies enjoy their time – we went for a beer and to get some local currency. It would seem Biren works for Google in the UK. We talked about this a bit and then changed money.

The exchange rates between currency vendors on Poppies lane differ drastically. Some offer 8800IDR per AU dollar and others offer 9400IDR. Initially I thought Biren and I should go to those with a higher payout but I kept remembering the stories about dodgy calculators, slight of hand counting, and corrupt dealers. When we were calculating the money Biren asked the vendor why the rate quoted outside on the sign and the rate he was given differed by around 4,000IDR per Pound. The vendor stopped counting the money and said: ‘That rate, fake money. This rate, real money. You want fake money or you want real money?’ Of course Biren wanted real money and the transaction proceeded. We met back with the girls shortly after. Biren and Anita gave us their details and I stayed in the Salon for the next 2 hours while Elaine finished her beautification.

Dinner at La Monde, Legian.

That night we had dinner at La Monde in Legian – just 500 meters from our hotel. The service, the food, and the atmosphere were excellent. Elaine ordered a whole grilled king snapper, which came with rice and sauces at a cost of $8USD. I ordered Nasi Campur – a national dish of Indonesia comprised of a mixture of vegetable, meats, sauces and whatever else they have at a cost of $3.50USD. The only negative part about this place was one of the other Australian clientele. A 50-something-year-old was obviously in need of some female attention as he kept perving on my wife to the point where it was nearly harassment. Normally I really do not care but this man was tactless, old and seedy. It was very disappointing as he was with a group of people and I am sure a lady at his table would have liked the attention. Elaine did not realize and I did not tell her because she was enjoying her time and her meal.

After dinner, Elaine was tired. We agreed earlier to meet our new British friends Biren and Anita in Kuta for drinks that evening. Elaine was tired and refused to get up and told me to go alone – so, I did. The taxi to Kuta cost 26,000IDR ($2.60USD) and I realized there were a lot of young Aussies around. It was nearly like I was at the Gold Coast on a Saturday night. It was only 11pm and already there were many young boys desperately trying to get the attention of girls by being idiots with their mates cheering on their bravery/stupidity (depending on your perspective). I shook my head and was glad I was already married. A short time later I met Biren and Anita in M Bar Go. The place was dead and the staff were dressed in classy white outfits. They were dancing trying to pick up the atmosphere. Their style of dance is obviously very different from Western style and they became the entertainment for a brief moment mainly because of their dance style. We moved on after one drink which cost around $8USD for a weak but ice cold Strawberry dacquiri.

Dance cage at Discoteque

Discoteque, Kuta, Bali

The next place we went to is called Discoteque and is only 400 meters up the road. It has dance cages on the edge of the club, a dance floor and pool tables inside. I heard about this place from other Aussies so we went in. The first round of tall cocktails cost $7USD each and were full strength. The dance floor was full but not crowded and westerners bopped away. We joined them for roughly an hour. A few cocktails later and we headed into the back of the club where there were many pool tables and a separate bar. Immediately we were approached by locals offering to play pool with us. I had flashbacks to Thailand where I luckily managed to beat the local pool hustlers and they were really angry. I thought it was a bad idea and suggested the Balinese locals could play with us but we would not be betting any money. The locals were not interested in playing pool unless there was a bet put on the table. They put the pool cues down and walked away. A few games later and Biren was keen to play a local. I advised against it but he was adamant. Consequently, I agreed to play a local as well. I put down 10,000IDR ($1USD) and won via luck. I gave him his money back and he was happy. Biren played another local for 50,000IDR ($5USD) and lost. While he was playing I spoke with the local who I had just played in pool. He told me he plays pool against tourists for money because he does not have a job and it is very hard for an unskilled person like himself to make money via legitimate means. He pointed to a ‘friend’ in the club who finds gay Western girls and organizes local girls for them and to others who sell Viagra to make small money. He did not want to be one of these people. He said he would prefer to find young drunk westerners to gamble in a game of pool and he might occasionally make a hundred thousand rupiah in a night ($10USD). His rationale was that $10USD is only 1.25 cocktails for a tourist whereas $10USD was nearly his living expenses for a week. When you consider the average wage in Bali is around $100USD per month, hustling a few dollars out of drunk Australian bogans is not really all that bad. I would prefer he do that than to pick pocket. After pool, we went back to our hotels. It was nearly 4am.

Four hours later I was awake and having breakfast. I was hung over. But, we had hired Ardika to drive for the day and did not want to disappoint my wife. The plan was to tour some areas of local Bali, have a local lunch and then do some shopping. Ardika arrived in a nice fancy van at 10am and took us on our journey. He assumed we were interested in wasting money at Nusa Dua by riding the jetski and using the powerboats. My wife likes jetskiing but, upon arrival, she did not like the beach. There was a lot of rubbish in the water, the place was noisy with many jetski and powerboats cruising in and out of the little cove. It was certainly not the post card paradise advertised on billboards. We had a brief swim and then checked out the price of the jetski. The shady looking fellow suggested he could not go below $30USD per 15 minutes. It was a busy day for him and he had many Chinese willing to spend such a ridiculous amount on these water sports. We left Nusa Dua disappointed.

We then headed to Hawaii Bali for more shopping. At first, we thought the store was just a crappy souvenir shop. We walked through and Elaine and I decided we wanted to leave. Staff ushered us to look a little more so we opened our mind and looked on the shelves. For the most part, the merchandise was unappealing but okay for cheap souvenirs. Prices are marked, are relatively low, and there is no bartering. Some products are seconds or faulty and need to be inspected. Elaine opened her mind and tried on Indonesian style shoes and dresses and 45 minutes later we had roughly a dozen different items in our basket. We got change from $50USD and each dress averaged around $6USD. Elaine bought 3 pairs of stylish sponge based shoes for $2USD each – they wont last very long but I am sure she will love how light and breezy they will be in Summer.

After this Ardika took us for a local lunch at Warung Nikmat in Kuta. Elaine loved this food. I thought it was great also. I would highly recommend eating at this place. Step around the glass counter and point to what you would like to eat. The ladies serving spoke enough English to tell us what the main ingredients were (fish, curry Chicken, egg, potato, pumpkin, eggplant, etc). We chose as much or as little as we wanted of each dish and the plate was given a card with a price on it. I ate a lot of meat, Elaine ate some meat and some vegetables, Ardika ate vegetables only and we all had a drink. The total cost of this meal was $7.50USD and was brilliant. Later we realized we got a 30% discount on the meal because Ardika was with us.

Eating local food at Warung Nikmat with Ardika

After lunch Ardika took us to Sanur to see the beach and for shopping. The beach was nice, a lot more clean and okay for swimming. Once again, it was not brilliant and nor would we suggest going on a trip to Sanur just to see the beach. We did, however, come across a great store that sold good clothes for a great price. Most dresses were around $4-8USD and are good quality. We spent nearly an hour going through all the clothes and eventually bought around $55USD worth of clothes. The shop attendant seemed very surprised that we bought nearly all the clothes Elaine tried on and seemed very very very happy when we paid. Elaine guesses we bought more clothes that afternoon than he sells on a few busy days. When you consider his reaction, she might be right. Or, he might also think we are spoilt.

It was getting late and, at our request, Ardika then took us to the famous Jimbaran Bay for a seafood dinner, which is highly recommended in Lonely Planet. Unfortunately, we ignored other people’s warnings about Jimbaran Bay and headed there thinking that Lonely Planet would be correct. Ardika suggested Blue Marlin. When we arrived staff took us aside and requested we get a photograph with a lady dressed in traditional Balinese attire. At first we refused but then when they insisted we obliged but thought this was strange. We then ordered our dinner. Elaine ordered a 1.1KG mudcrab at 350,000IDR ($35USD) per Kilogram. I ordered 500grams of King prawns at 32,000IDR ($32USD) per Kilogram. The tables were old, the place was aged, and this was one of what appeared to be literally more than 50 beachfront restaurants pushing the same sunset seafood dinner.

When the food arrived, it was clear that the crab had shrunk significantly (it was now the smallest crab in the box) and I had only 5 prawns instead of the 10 that were counted out in front of me. A part of me wanted to tear into the staff for being dishonest and ripping off tourists but I complied with my wives wishes and tried to enjoy the dinner. The sunset was simply like any other sunset in Bali and was nothing special. In fact, the seafood was overcooked, tasteless and dull. My wife was surprised that they did not bring any lemon water to wash your hands with even though we were eating crab. It seemed no one else got lemon water either. We though this might be Balinese way but later realized Jimbaran Bay is a place people eat at once and the locals do not ever expect return clientele thus do not give a shit about anything or anyone there. This was apparent when we tried to leave.  The photo the staff took of us when we arrived had been printed onto a plate. The staff aggressively tried to get my wife to pay for this personalized ornamental plate which we assumed was a gift as the price of the seafood was astronomical by third world (and even first world) standards. Needless to say, we were bloody angry and it completely ruined our evening. We recommend NEVER GO TO JIMBARAN BAY FOR DINNER. The food is crap, the sunset is the same as anywhere else, the staff are average, the toilet is unsquatable, and you will just be another western idiot that represents a dollar sign.

After dinner, we were so disappointed we headed back to the hotel. I paid Ardika $50USD for his services instead of the quoted $35USD as I believed he should be paid more. Due to the shrinking seafood dinner, I was still hungry and feasted on local Sate ($4USD). While walking back to our hotel we were approached by men trying to sell Viagra. They were very rude and I lost my temper with them. They said something along the lines of ‘She bounce up you all night long time.’ I kept walking but was so angry and yelled back ‘Fuck off you clown.’ As we kept walking we heard ‘Fuck you.’ My wife then turned around and yelled ‘I heard exactly what you said you fucking dickhead.’ My wife rarely swears – I was shocked. They must have made her really angry. I do not advise swearing at locals or condone our actions. We should have known better and not compromised our values. But, he scratched a nerve that had already been expose by the buggers at Jimbaran Bay. Not a great way to end a reasonable day.

The security guard

PERSONAL STORY:- When we arrived back to the hotel we spoke with the security guard again. He seemed so happy and humble so I asked him about his life. I wondered whether his smile was a superficial charade or whether he was genuinely happy. In broken english, he told us that he also earns $100USD per month and has a wife that works in a ceramic factory who earns a little less. He works night shift and she works day shift. They see each other on the weekends and do not get to go on holiday as their incomes cover the living expenses of their extended family and nothing more. I felt bad for him as his life seems tough and he is a gentle soul – always willing to help and wants nothing in return. Despite this, he is smiling. In another world, this man would be my role model and mentor.

The security guard told us that the Balinese government employ security guards at many of the hotels to help tourists and prevent theft or other issues that could occur if they were not present. This is a good system that does not occur in Lombok. At midnight we witnessed a van pull up carrying several security guards and they dropped off a very small parcel of food. It would seem that they were all meeting at the Bali Sani Padma to have dinner together. We left him enjoy his time with his colleagues.

BALI SANI PADMA:

INFORMATION – reviews on trip advisor are often biased, impartial or give inaccurate information. A lot of reviews said the staff at Balisani Padma were not helpful and nor did they clean the rooms. This information is wrong. 

Our experience at Balisani Padma was a pleasant one (see video for review). Staff were helpful and you just had to take the time to explain, using very simple English, what you need and they will help wherever they can. It seemed they were really trying to please us as their guests rather than make money. Also, my wife booked a massage through the reception and it was excellent. They charged a comparable price to local salons (~6USD).

However, the concierge did try to book taxis for us at a cost of $6USD for fares that cost us $4USD on the meter. But, don’t all hotels do that? The staff do clean the rooms daily but do not seem to clean the toilet or bath as well as we would do in the first world. The lighting in the room is very poor but we found that at most places throughout Bali (with the exception of 4 star places).

Breakfast has more variety than most hotels with comparable prices (i.e. over 30USD but under 50USD).

Day 3

We woke up late (around 9:30am) and decided we should relocate hotels today. While the Balisani Padma was fine, we thought we would try somewhere different. Somewhere we can get some sleep. The previous day Ardika recommended the Four Seasons hotel or the Legian Beach Bungalows. I enquired at the Four Seasons who quoted us 120USD per night. Seemed excessive considering Ardika said the local price for this hotel is 55USD per night (although I do not know how he would know this as he has never stayed there). So, off I trotted to the Legian Beach Bungalows. As usual, along the way shop owners tried their best to coerce me into their stores. I respectfully declined (as always).

Legian Beach Bungalows (1.5km from beach)

Inside the Legian Beach Bungalows

Inside the Legian Beach Bungalows

The Legian Beach Bungalows were nice. I would have said 2.5 star. I was quoted 25USD per night with hot water and air-conditioning and 17USD per night for cold water and fan. I knew Elaine wanted hot water so I booked the more expensive option.We checked out of the Balisani Padma who took our bags for a few hours. Despite only leaving them beside reception, I felt it was safe to leave our bags with them for a few hours. We messaged Ardika to see if he would pick us up. Ardika was going to drive us via taxi to Denpasar to take us shopping. It seems he got a good fare and was tied up. Thus, he messaged us and told us to get a taxi to Ramayan in Denpasar.

Consequently, the same security person from the night before got us the taxi and off we went to the Legian Beach Bungalows and then to the Ramayana Shopping Centre. It was busy and the fare cost us around 6USD. Denpasar and the Ramayana Mall are very different to Kuta, Bali. During the entire day we only saw 3 other tourists and they were part of the same group. Most of the locals did not speak much English and no-one harassed us. A very different experience from Kuta where everyone offers you a massage, transport, cheap cheap price, Viagra, and so on. After a while, being asked by every local on the street if you want to buy something gets tiresome. I equated it to harassment and most are trying to get every last rupiah from you. It is understandable but after a while you just want fixed prices and to browse a store with no pressure to buy.

Ramayan Shopping Centre, Denpassar, Bali

In Ramayana prices are fixed. Staff do not follow you or taunt you to buy things but instead look for sizes when required. Communication is best done via body language if you do not speak Indonesian. The style of clothing offered here is more upmarket, is good quality, and can be overpriced by local standards. But it caters to the professional Balinese that shop here. We spent roughly 2.5 hours here. We mostly walked past a lot of the stuff as we were after bargains. There were many good quality shirts ($10 – $50 USD), trousers/jeans ($20 – 60USD), belts (~$15 – 20USD) and shoes ($10 – $60 USD). While most will see this as expensive (some items will be cheaper back home), the quality of the clothing and shoes are not comparable.

We ended up buying discounted items. Elaine bought 3 pairs of really nice leather shoes suitable as office or party attire. These would have cost around $150USD in Australia but here they cost between $6 – $15USD each and are great quality. I bought 9 original copy (don’t really know what that means) Ralph Lauren Polo shirts for $5USD each and a further 3 great quality Palatino shirts at $7USD each. We were happy with our purchases and headed up to the food court. There were many little vendors all the way along the eastern wall each serving variations of local food. We ordered a Nasi Goreng at a cost of $1USD and it was good. The sambal sauce was extremely spicy and the girls laughed as they watched us take our first few mouthfuls.

After that we walked a kilometer to the next shopping center in Denpasar. It appeared to be more ad hoc than Ramayana and the merchandise was less appealing. We did not buy anything. There were many gangster wannabe young people aged 8 and above trawling this shop with their hip hop hats. It would seem this is the hangout place for juveniles trying to look and act like American rappers and hip hoppers. I just hope that when they are in their late teens to early 20s they have outgrown this attire and attitude as it is a shame they have abandoned their national identity in favour of the gang lifestyle.

It was getting late and we had many bags of shopping so we headed to where the buses were. On our way we saw one taxi. There did not appear to be any other modes of private transport around and this was the only taxi around. The taxi driver did not ask us whether we wanted transport nor did he seem to go out of his way to engage with us. Finally, normality. I took a deep breath, walked up to the taxi driver and asked him if he was accepting passengers. He asked us where we were going. We told him the Balisani Padma in Legian and we would like him to use the meter. He nodded and helped us put our shopping in the car.

There was a lot of traffic getting back to Legian/Kuta area. The taxi driver took a lot of side roads and back roads. This seemed to save us a lot of time. On the way we saw a mother transporting her daughter and young son on a scooter.

As you can see in the picture, the boy looks around 4 years of age and is standing on the floor plate of the scooter trying to see over the handle bars. It was awesome to watch. This boy was fearless. At 4, looking over the handlebars of a moving scooter in dense traffic does not elicit an anxious reaction. I wonder what he will be like when he grows up. The driver of the taxi realized my curiosity in this boy and, without me asking, slowed down for me to film him. I thought: ‘maybe the taxi driver was like this boy 40 years ago.’ I thought again: ‘maybe not. Back then this area would have been all rice fields.’

The taxi ride back to our hotel cost around 5USD (despite there being more traffic). I gave the man 15USD as he seemed to be a very honest, kindhearted man. His English was poor and he seemed to try his best to both answer our questions and help us where possible. He could have tried to barter with us on the taxi price as it was obvious we would prefer to catch a taxi out of Denpasar and, at that moment, there were no other taxis there. I wanted to reward his good nature. He was incredibly happy when I handed him the 100,000IDR (10USD) and then exceptionally happy when I handed him the 50,000 IDR (5USD). It also felt good for me to be able to give him a little extra for being honest and fair – something I am unable to do back in Australia as I am on an average wage.

After relaxing at the hotel for a while we went jalan jalan (wander the streets). As usual, we were harassed by locals trying to sell us everything. Due to last nights disappointing dinner at Jimbaran Bay and us staying in an inexpensive hotel, I though it was a good idea to take Elaine for a seafood dinner at a quality local restaurant. I knew it would be expensive but still be much cheaper than Jimbaran Bay and back home. We came across the Rama Gardens on Jalan Padma, Legian. They had crab for 10USD, medium sized lobster for around 30USD and king prawns for 40USD per kilogram. When considering the venue and staff we thought it was fair so we went in.

Elaine ordered the chili Crab at 10USD and a pina colada at 6USD. I ordered the king prawns at 20USD and a Singapore sling at 6USD. We were both impressed with the meal despite it being nearly 50USD (about a third of the monthly wage of those who work there). See the video for comments – please note this video is shot with a Sony TX5 camera thus the film quality in low light is not good. We gave the Rama Gardens a 4.5/5 star as the food quality, service, drinks and atmosphere were great. Still, I would not suggest travelling for more than 15 minutes to get here as there are comparable restaurants in Seminyak, Kuta and Legian (closure to the beach).

After dinner we headed back to our hotel and were offered Viagra and transport the entire way. What a way to end an enjoyable evening. At least we were not offered drugs, sex or worse. We went to bed early as we were heading to Nusa Lembongan tomorrow.

LEGIAN BEACH BUNGALOWS:

The Legian Beach Bungalows have basic rooms that cater to the needs of budget travellers. They had the best rooms in Legian for the price. The hot water rooms have a bath and the bathroom, despite being old and showing signs of aging, is spacious and clean. There is a small, well maintained pool in the main area and a small balcony outside the room to sit and relax. The noise from the main street can be heard from the balcony but not from inside the room. We had room number 4 – we could not hear any noise from those in the room above us.

The reception staff are usually helpful, speak reasonable English for those who are patient, and are happy to help if asked. They booked our trip to Nusa Lembongan for us free of charge (we had the brochures with the price and spoke with others who paid that price plus commission which we were not charged). The hotel may get a small commission from this booking. Staff seemed honest and I felt I could trust them. I would recommend this hotel to other budget travellers who want to stay a little away from Kuta but close enough to catch a taxi at the end of the evening.

Day 4

I woke up at around 5am. It was amazing. The streets were empty except for a few stray dogs and the odd scooter and a few senior citizens. It was like the quiet before the storm. Under the advice of the Lonely Planet book, I withdrew roughly 600USD (roughly 6 months wage for a local worker paid an average salary) as there was not meant to be an ATM on Nusa Lembongan (this is false – there is an ATM on the island but it might run out of money). This meant I was carrying a huge pile of notes. The walk back to the hotel was done at pace.

Arriving at Nusa Lembongan

At 8am a vehicle arrived from Rocky Fast Cruise arrived to collect us from our hotel. The driver also picked up another couple from a nearby hotel and off we went to Sanur Harbour. The trip to Sanur took around 30 minutes. We were dropped at the Rocky office to pay the 250,000IDR (25USD) each one way. When we arrived they gave us water and were very polite. They did not add tax on top, which was a pleasant surprise. Staff escorted us to the harbor (another 5 minute drive) and we waited on the beach while staff loaded our luggage into the boat. The boat was small but suited to a quick scoot across to Lembongan. It took roughly 30 minutes to get there and unload. The boat pulled right up on the island and we did not even need to get both feet wet. Staff unloaded our bags and asked us if we needed help getting a hotel. We reluctantly said yes and a young man by the name of Adit agreed to take me around to look at the hotels on his scooter for free. Adit told me it was a very long walk to see the hotels where we wanted to go and it was best he take me. At first, I did not trust him but went anyhow as there are no cars or taxis on the island.

I was happy with this price but thought food would be expensive on the island so we negotiated and settled on 35USD per night. {It is important to note that there are old and new style bungalows at Tarci Bungalows. The old Bungalows are very old and may not be worth the money. The new Bungalow are definitely worth the money although there are only 2}.

Adit and I rode back to the harbour. Elaine was waiting with our bags. Adit said he would take Elaine there with our bags. A few seconds later the hotel staff arrived with another scooter and said he would ferry our bags. So, we took off to the hotel on scooters packed to the sky with our luggage. In Australia we would have been arrested for such a practice. Upon arrival, I thanked Adit a lot. He seemed like he did not really want to get paid but I paid him 50,000IDR (5USD). He was happy with this. Adit asked me if I wanted to rent a scooter and offered his for 60,000 IDR (6USD) for 24 hours on the condition I took him to his house 5 minutes drive away. I wanted a scooter and Lonely Planet suggested they cost 10USD per day on the island. I closely studied Adit’s body language and concluded I could trust him. He seemed humble, did not appear to want money, smiled graciously when I paid him the 5USD and was happy to introduce me to his family. I agreed and paid him for the scooter.

PERSONAL STORY:- Adit moved back to his family on Lembongan from Bali. When I met his family, it became apparent why. His brother was partly blind in one eye, his parents were very elderly and his other brother had just started a small massage business on the island. His future was to help his family and care for his parents. His life will be better than some in Bali but still tough by third world standards. Adit makes a little money by taking tourists to their hotels, as there are no cars or taxis on the island. Usually tourists will give him a few dollars for transporting them on his scooter and sometimes they rent his bike. Sometimes tourists also do not pay him and take his offer of a free scooter ride to be literal. Although Adit did not say, I am sure he would get some benefit from the hotels when taking guests there – maybe small commission or a free meal every now and then. I noticed him enjoying a free cup of coffee at the hotel that afternoon.

Shortly after, Elaine and I had a fruit drink and food at the hotel. The drinks were good but expensive (around 4USD each). The food was average and also expenisve (5USD each). We then explored the island on the scooter. The roads were mostly good but, despite there being few roads, it was easy to get lost. Despite this, it was a very pleasant ride. We rode around most of the island but did not find any place that was magnificent. The Europeans seemed to love the beaches and think they were great. We thought the beaches were good but nto great. Maybe we are spoilt in Australia as we have good beaches. However, most of the good beaches on Lembongan had boats strung along them making it difficult for swimming. See the pictures.

However, we came across a few notable places, which we are unable to locate on the map. There are small villages of seaweed farmers. It was very interesting to see this mode of life if only from the outside. To my wife, their life seemed like hell – no running water or electricity and surviving off fishing and collecting seaweed. To me, their mode of life seemed less stressful than that of the Javanese that travel to Bali to sell drugs on the street. I would think it would be very difficult to live in these huts in the wet season – that would be hell. I’ve attached pictures from this village.

After this we found the road and suspension bridge to Ceningan Island. The bridge seems dangerous as some planks are missing but hundreds of scooters pass across it every day. As long as only a few bikes go across at a time it seems safe. We venture across and are glad we did.

Ceningan Island is far more traditional. We rode the entire island and only saw 2 hotels that they seem more like homestays. I did not meet anyone who had stayed on this island, which makes me think few tourists do. There was some development closer to Ceningan Cliff Warung and there might be villas for rent there in 2012.

Ceningan Cliff was nice. We parked our bike in the area that said Bike Parking (a tree and an obscure patch of grass). We walked around 500 meters and accidently came across something that looked interesting. There was a makeshift path down to a rock face. It seemed locals had made these dirt stairs and had set up the cliff in a way that enabled people to (seemingly) safely jump into the water and then climb back up a steel ladder. The locals made it very clear that we should buy a drink and enjoy the view. It was clear that we had to buy a drink to stay there. The prices were roughly 20 percent more expensive than other places but still fair considering we were on an island and they maintained the path to the cliff. We ordered a drink and watched some tourists throw themselves off the cliff into the water. It seemed like a 15 meter drop and one fellow did a back flop which he said hurt a lot. The risk of injury 4 days into an 18 day trip was enough to dissuade me from thinking of jumping. Plus, I’ve jumped off cliff faces such as this before and found the experience mediocre (I prefer fast bikes and skin diving). We finished our drinks and set off in search of Dream Beach on Lembongan as some English and Germans thought it was a great beach and worth the effort to get there.

After 15 minutes of riding and a wrong turn we found Dream Beach. Once again, while the beach was good, it was not great. There were a lot of Europeans there and we did not feel it was beautiful enough for us to miss the sunset (even though you would have been able to see most of if form the beach). We headed back to our hotel to watch sunset and swim in the pool. We got lost and the villagers kept sending us in different directions on the map. After 30 minutes and 5 different villagers sending us in wrong directions we gave up and followed our instincts while considering the direction the sun was going down, where the beach was and what we thought we had previously seen. We arrived at our hotel on sundown and ordered some beers. The sunset was nice even though it seemed to pass very quickly.

After sunset we went swimming in the pool (no-one else seemed to use it) and relaxed for a while. It was a great place to do it especially at night. After swimming we went to a local Warung (name unknown), which is about 800 meters up the road from the Tarci Bungalows. Go out the back path of Tarci Bungalows and turn right. Walk around 5 minutes and the warung is on your left hand side next to a vacant paddock. Dining is outdoors.

Local food - good price

Local warung

Good atmosphere

While the food here is not brilliant, it is sufficient, cheap and local Indonesian cuisine. We paid roughly 2 dollars each for our meal and drinks. The Nasi Campur was the best on the menu and a good size. We also ate breakfast here (banana pancakes), which were the same as anywhere else on the island but half the price (1USD) of other budget places. I would recommend eating here if you are on a budget.

Day 5

We awoke, had a swim in the pool, packed our bags and checked out. Through the hotel we booked a private boat to Nusapineda and we were about to leave. We bartered the price down to 200,000 IDR (20USD) for the trip, which took around 15 minutes one way. The boat was sturdy, safe and the ship captain was somewhat professional (although he did not speak English). Upon arriving on the beach we were met by another couple of locals who asked us where we were staying and were more than happy to show us to any hotel we were wanting to go. We said we did not know but had a budget of around 300,000 IDR (30USD) per night. One of the men went to take my bag and show us where to go. I hold onto all the bags and said we would follow them. After walking around 3 minutes we realized the place they took us to was MM Diving and was listed in the Lonely Planet. The room was average with cold water only and a basic, questionably clean bathroom. I was happy with it but my wife was not. She reluctantly agreed to stay here for 21USD per night (as she wanted air conditioning). When you compare the quality and cost of this accommodation to that on Lembongan, this accommodation then becomes expensive. Nevertheless, there are not many places to stay on this island. The men that lead us here then asked if there was anything else we needed – I asked for a sepeda motor (motor scooter). They quoted me 60,000 IDR for the afternoon. We, somehow, misunderstood each other and when I paid and confirmed that we would have the bike for 24 hours they then asked for another 40,000 IDR. Although my wife thought we were getting played for a fool I gave across another 40,000 IDR (4USD).

After settling in we jumped on the scooter to explore the island. Lonely Planet suggested there is a beautiful white sand private beach named Crystal Bay Beach – they use the words “Your own perfect beach” and “The sand here is the whitest around Bali and you’ll like have it to yourself.” So, off we set to find this private paradise. Immediately, upon arrival, we knew Lonely Planet misled us. This beach was definitely not private, the sand was yellow, the locals used the foreshore as a rubbish dump, diving and snorkeling boats filled the water around 100 meters out, and there were rocks under foot about 10 meters into the water at high tide which made it a challenge to walk out too far and would mean this beach would be all rocks at low tide. The beach looks nice and the water is clear but it certainly is not private or a “perfect beach.” But, once again, I need to mention that we are spoilt in Australia as our decent beaches are comparable to this one.

We spent around 30 minutes here before deciding we might be able to find better beaches that were actually private in other areas of the island. Off we went on the scooter again and ended up having lunch in the main city of Sampalan. Lonely Planet suggest there is no ATM on this island. We were lugging around millions of rupiah under their direction. I was unhappy when I came across an ATM in the main street of Sampalan. It might be new my wife told me. She might be right. Maybe, if the Lonely Planet crew were on this island, there was no ATM then. We dismissed this topic and continued to eat our lunch which cost 4USD including drinks and a snack.

Nice beach at high tide about 2km south of Sambalan

After lunch we stopped at a beach beside a small temple about 2km south of Sambalan. It was high tide so it was possible to swim without touching the seaweed farm (something which would be impossible at low tide). This beach was private and better than Crystal Bay Beach (see the below video on Nusapineda for footage of the beach). There were no rocks and we only came across a few kids in the one hour we were there. They had been spear fishing past where the guy in the rubber tube was (about 500 meters down from us). They caught a decent sized octopus, a medium sized lobster and a few reef fish (they looked like sweetlip). Obviously, there is a reef just off shore down there. We did not have goggles so we were unable to check it out and I am sure the local kids would not share there fishing spot with us even if we asked. We both liked this beach a lot. If it were low tide, however, we would not have stopped, as the beach would all be seaweed and unswimmable.

After this we rode back to our village hotel. Elaine went to sleep and I walked the streets. I chatted in very broken English with a local about seaweed production. Although it was very hard to understand him, I think he informed me that a big company buys the seaweed and it is uses it to thicken foods and make ice cream. It is hard work but the locals can make enough money from it to live a reasonable quality of life (by local standards). This probably means enough to feed the family and have a scooter for the family.

After this I met with Elaine again and we went to see the sunset by the beach at the harbour. There are two restaurants here. One is owned by a Muslim family and the other seems like it is trying to be upmarket (but fails). We stopped outside Warung Makan Restu. The Islamic lady asked us if we would like to eat dinner. We told her we just want drinks and to watch the sunset. Without thinking, I asked for beer. Of course, being Islamic, she does not sell beer. I apologized profusely and she told me not to worry and she would organize for her husband to make beer appear. The phrase ‘make beer appear’ is one I loved hearing but I still felt terrible – we were probably the first and last customers she would ever sell beer to. So, her husband ran off and brought us back a large beer. She only charged 2,500 IDR (2.50USD) for the large Bintang. I doubt she made any money from it. One gorgeous sunset and two large beers later we were ready for dinner. Our new Islamic host said she had great Nasi Campur that she could serve to us. Without asking the price, we accepted.

The food came about 15 minutes later and we were impressed. A reasonable serving of chicken, fish, 2 tiger prawns, egg, vegetable, tofu, and coconut rice came out (see the below video for pictures). We were surprised at how good everything tasted. This woman knew how to cook!

Owner of Restu at Toypakeh, Nusapineda, Bali with my wife

PERSONAL STORY:- We spoke with this lady for a good hour after we ate. For a local, she is well off but is putting everything she earns into her children’s future. She has three children of which two attend school on Lombok. They are both teenagers and living independently. She pays all their expenses including renting a house for them at a cost of 350AUD per year. She said she makes enough from her business to live and provide for her family but not generate a surplus (no savings). She says school is expensive but she has no choice but to send her children to the mainland so they can get a good education. They come and visit sometimes on school holidays.

It was then I realized this lady and family were not a typical Islamic family. She earns the money, she suggested her children go to a good school in Lombok and she does not care what other Muslim ladies in the community think of her – if she did, why would she serve us beer in front of the other ladies wearing the Hiyab (head attire)?

If you are in Nusapineda, I suggest eating at Warung Makan Restu at the harbour during sunset. If you are prone to mosquito bites (like my wife) you should coat yourself in repellant first. Neither of us got bitten but there are mangroves on the next island where mosquitos might breed. The seats at the restaurant are terrible as is the table. But, we are on an island, the view is magnificent, the food is great and the lady serving it is unique. Check it out.

The sleep that evening was unpleasant. There were mosquitos in our room and I kept lighting mosquito coils to prevent my wife from getting bitten. We do not recommend staying at MM Diving Resort and Mutiara Bungalows. But on Nusapineda, there are only a few accommodation options. We had a restless night and decided to go back to Bali the next morning.

Day 6

We woke up early and ate the breakfast being a thin pancake (really a crepe made with water and flower) and super strong coffee without milk. It was bad but we had little choice for food on this island. Also, what should we really expect from a young girl who probably has never left this island? We ate it, smiled, and said thank you.

Shortly after, our two local friends who own the scooter show up. I met one of them last night and asked if they could help us get to the place that boats launch from to go to Padangbai, Bali. They said they could for 4USD. They suggested either the ferry which will cost 6USD for us both or a private boat. The private boat was on the way to the ferry so we chose to have a look. When we pulled in there were around 10 locals all waiting around for passengers to jump on their boats. They all had very dark, rubbery skin and had obviously spent a long time in the sun. We asked the price and they said it was 25USD to leave right now. We thanked them but told them we would take the ferry. They were not happy and said we could pay less and wait for the boat to fill up before leaving. We asked how long that would take and they said it could take a few hours more. I thanked them again and said we would take the ferry. As I picked up our bags and headed to the bikes one of the men stepped forward and said: “Okay, okay. 100,000 IDR for both. Leave now.” I could not believe my ears. The two locals we came with said it was close to local price and you wont have to wait. We accepted and continued on our voyage across to Padangbai.

Anti-corruption - on way to Padangbai, Bali

The ship captain reminded me of my step Dad when he was a shipmaster. He focused on the water, knew the boat and current well, and looked relaxed as he maneuvered through the fast currents. His deckhand wore a shirt which said: “We don’t accept corruption.” This made me happy – if only it were true. Indonesia is a terribly corrupt place. Reporters Without Borders rank the Indonesian media 117^th on the World Press Freedom Index. They have demonstrated those countries with higher media freedom have less corruption. Unfortunately for Indonesia, this means corruption is a problem.

About 20 minutes after departure we arrived in Padangbai. We felt a strange sense of comfort as our feet hit the mainland. Surprisingly, there were no people greeting us and trying to sell us a hotel. Instead, we had hawkers trying to sell us sunglasses despite us both wearing a pair each. The man told us the price was 25,000 IDR each which seemed very fair. I know some people buy them for 20,000 IDR but they usually start bartering at insane prices and get them down to 2 USD. I felt this man would not try to rip anyone off so I bought 2 pairs from him for 5USD total. We then headed along the street a few hundred meters. A man then approached us and asked us where we are looking for. We told him we did not know. He said he had rooms at the Celagi Inn for 10-15USD per night. So, I followed him.

He showed us the most expensive room which he priced at 15USD per night. It was very comfortable. It had hot water, airconditioning, a balcony, and a king size bed. Later we realised the true gem in this place was above us – there is an open balcony on the rooftop with 360 degree views. You can watch ferries coming and going. The view was great. The down side to the rooms in this place is that they overlook a graveyard and the hotel is located about 100m up a relatively steep incline, which is not suited to some people. It was fine for us though. Elaine thought it was fine for a night so we booked the room.

A few hours later we set off to see the Blue Lagoon as recommended in Lonely Planet.  The beach was nice but it was impossible to swim as there were many rocks and a strong current. It was, however, okay for snorkeling. The water is shallow and there are plenty of fish but no live coral. I guess the tourism industry (that means me) has resulted in dead coral.

My wife was not keen on snorkeling so she stayed on the beach. The local ladies constantly harassed her while I was out snorkeling. By the time I arrived back my wife was furious. It seemed all 12 of them were tag-teaming Elaine offering her the same items over and over again. There is only so many times you can politely say no before you want to say piss off. The local ladies just would not stop hassling us. We spent a little longer there and then we left. It was impossible to enjoy the beach with them there.

We walked the streets for a while trying to understand why anyone would want to stay here more than one night. We could not find a reason. My wife felt unsafe and I could see why – everyone seemed to just hang around and not do anything. Consequently, we booked our tickets on the fast boat to the Gili Islands at a cost of 35,000 IDR (35USD) each one way. We were told the boat would take 1 hour and was a great boat.

Later that afternoon I tried to find someone to provide a massage. There seemed to be only 2 places in the village. I am sure there would be more but I could not find them. Eventually I chose to see Mr Wayan Gejor of Jalan Silayukti 5 at a cost of 50,000 IDR ($5USD) for 30 minutes. I realized after it was a great choice. Wayan is a Reiki Master. At first I thought it was bollocks. The massage did not resemble any other massage I have ever had and it hurt – sometimes a lot.  Also, the massage was done in a dinghy old room that looked like a child’s bedroom in a tin shack. The room was messy and there was no flooring apart from thin concrete. When we walked through into this room we passed his wife who was topless – she seemed oblivious to our presence. We figured she is always topless. Wayan told me my intestines were hot. I did not really understand what he meant but I did have a lot of pain in my intestines and diarrhea. Over the course of a few hours after the massage, there was no pain in my intestines and my body was relaxed. It was amazing. Was it the Reiki Master or did I convince myself I was okay so my intestines fixed themselves? I do not know. But I know I was now healthy and painless. My advice is to see Mr Wayan Gejor – pay the $8USD for the hour ‘massage’ and endure the pain. It will be worth it.

After this we headed down to the Blue Lagoon Beach. There was a nice restaurant on the hill in which you can relax and watch the ocean. There were many local ladies that hung around on the beach and tried repeatedly to sell us stuff. We told them politely that we were not interested. They were insistent, persistent, and eventually just plain annoying. It would have been a good spot if it was not for the constant attempts to sell us everything from shells on the beach to the food in the warung on the hill. I’d had enough of being pestered and went snorkelling. This area is not very good for snorkelling (try the Gili Islands – its far better for snorkelling). There was not coral, the current was strong at low tide, the sand gets washed up and reduces visibility, and there are not many fish. Plus, the current seemed to wash against the rocks on the day I was there which is just dangerous for novice swimmers. Overall, it was a nice afternoon and we enjoyed our time on this beach.

That evening we had dinner at Ozone restaurant. The food was good but a little pricey. I would recommend it as a meal but it is nothing fancy and not worth writing a review on. Go there if other places seem unattractive. You can see into the kitchen here so you know the kitchen is of reasonable sanitary condition. They serve a wide range of foods.

Day 7

Porters arrived at our hotel at exactly 8am. Prior to departure the locals performed a ritual on the boat engines. I guess they were warning off the evil spirits to ensure a safe journey across the ocean. A small box containing incense and flowers was placed on top of each engine.

The boat left the harbour on time at 08:30am. We realized this boat was not finished. The lights had not been installed, the roof was not finished, it was built with standard thin ply, water gushed through the windows despite being closed, the floor was very slippery, all our bags were in about 2cm of water, the upstairs deck was very slipper (I nearly slipped overboard) and staff sat upstairs away from passengers as much as possible. This boat is not a good option. Stay away from the Son Marline Cruiser. The trip took 2.5 hours. Other passengers were told the trip would take between 1 and 3 hours. Most were told 1-1.5 hours and the boat was great. Obviously, those selling the tickets have never been on the boat before.

There were a few characters that shared the boat trip with us. We met some German girls who sat across from us. Then there were some Aussies behind them with a few Gold Coast larrikins looking to enjoy their time. Then there was the French ‘tough’ rugby team strewn all over the boat. They were on a 3 day drinking bender prior to being on this boat starting in Singapore, then Seminyak, Kuta and now they are going to Lombok. The rest of us made fun of their public display of unusually hung over behavior including sleeping with their heads on each other’s laps and shoulders. See the video – it shows the situation well and there is a brief interview with a couple that took the slow ferry option to Gili T.

In usual island style, when we arrive at Gili Trangwan (Gili T for short) we are accosted by a local who took us to their hotel. We thought we would stay in a cheap hotel for the first night and stay in a private villa with its own pool the night after. I saw prices on the net starting at 70USD per night.

We were shown Pondok Jessica and were quoted 15USD per night. It had hot water and our room was clean (others weren’t) so we booked it. Within 20 minutes of check in we were offered Marijuana and magic mushrooms. By nightfall I’d been offered drugs 12 times. It seems strange because there does not appear to be any reason to take drugs on the island. There is no rave and the party seems to be in the local drug pusher’s heads. I started to think: ‘Do we look like the typical drug takers?’ So, I asked other tourists who also said they were offered drugs. Our minds relaxed a little.

After check in we had lunch with the German girls from the boat and then set off on our voyage around the island. We were looking for our own private section of beach where we could relax in privacy for the rest of the day. After 1 hour of walking we realized that most of the beach is developed and the parts that are not are not swimmable (which is around two thirds of the island) especially at low tide. We gave up on finding a private place to ourselves and drink a cocktail in a bar. The cocktails were odd and light on alcohol. Obviously the person making them had never drunk alcohol before.

We go back to our hotel and then, at sundown, it starts. Firstly, I must say I live near a Mosque in my hometown. I have no issues with this, as they do not sing through the speakers at all hours of the morning and night. Also, I have lived in Malaysia for 6 weeks near Mosques and they were nowhere near as loud as the Mosque on Gili T. The Mosque is ridiculously loud. The level of sound coming from the speaker is comparable to an ACDC concert. If this area was Australia, the police would have to issue noise warnings and fines. I must also say that I am in favour of Islam – I’ve met many good Muslims who are great citizens and great people. In the same way, I’m in favour of Jews, Christians and every religion. Where I draw the line is when Churches make loud noises over and over and over again. This is what happens on Gili T. See my travel video – it is an experience but you cannot get sufficient sleep or relax, as the speakers on Gili T are so loud you can hear them in doors with earplugs.

After sundown we go for dinner. Elaine decided we would have seafood until she saw one of the vendors put a raw prawn on top of raw chicken and then drop them both on the ground. She assumed the prawn would be washed and put back on the menu. This dissuaded her. We ended up eating local food, Nasi Campur style. Again, the food was average.

We were tired and went to bed early and woken up at 4am.

Day 8

The Mosque awoke us at 04:30am by screaming their prayers through their super strong sub woofers. Their prayers seemed to last around 30 minutes. They then woke us up a few hours later with a child screaming his prayers, which again lasted forever. By the end of his high pitch squealing I felt like I hated this child and the louder man singing over the top of him toward the end of their set. Not even a hand over each ear could shield the shrieks of the prayers. Although we did not speak about it, we both independently decided then and there that we would leave this blasted island. We had a very light sleep and woke up shortly after. We felt like we had no sleep and were very tired. What a way to ruin a holiday.

We packed our bags and talked with a British couple we met the day before. We all decided to head across to Gili Meno and cross our fingers that the island would be quieter. The boat across cost 20USD, which equaled 5USD each. There is a set price and you book at the office. It is a fair system – although over priced. The islands are about 500 meters apart.

It took around 5 minutes to get across to the other island named Gili Meno. The appeal of Gili Meno was that Lonely Planet (and fellow travellers) said this island was quieter and the beaches were better. Unfortunately, the beaches on this island were largely the same as Gili T – mostly rocks and mostly unswimmable. There was a small stretch of beach overlooking Lombok and Gili Air (in front of Malia’s Child Bungalows) that was suitable to for swimming and had reasonable snorkeling.

As soon as we arrived we went in search of a bungalow on a nice, isolated beach. We saw a few places and marched around most of the island with all our bags which took roughly 1.5 hours. We came across some places that were 8USD per night toward the middle of the island. These were basic but sanitary. We were looking for something a bit more upmarket and closer to the beach.

We walked to the northwestern part of the island and enquired about the Sunset Gecko Bungalows – they were full. Next to Sunset Gecko is Good Heart bungalows. We checked those out and they were terrible. These bungalows must only fill up when Sunset Gecko is full, which apparently, has nice bungalows. This places bungalows had gaps in the floor and walls and no mosquito net. You had to climb down a ladder to go to the toilet (imagine doing that drunk) and are very small. They wanted $15USD for these poorly designed bungalows. The girls did not want to stay here so I walked back to the new looking bungalows that were around 150 meters back. There was no reception and no indication that anyone ran this place – just two newish looking bungalows. After 2 minutes of waiting and hoping someone would come, I decided to walk into the local village around 250 meters inland from these bungalows. After a broken conversation with three people I found someone who knew about the Gili Garden Bungalows. She got the keys and showed me them – they were great and she said they were only 150,000 ($15USD) per night.  We took them.

INFORMATION:- The Gili Garden Bungalows are located 200 meters back from the beach behind the Sunset Gecko. They are new and you are dealing directly with the villagers who live behind the bungalows. They cost $15USD per night and are well worth it. Only thing, there are lots of mosquito’s in the open air bathroom outside. Keep the doors firmly closed before sunset. We did not have issues with mosquito’s inside the bungalow as we lit mosquito coils outside the front and back door. If you are able to manage the 40 minute walk to the main beach (as this island does not allow scooters) then these bungalows are the best value for money on the whole island…

Gili Garden Bungalows (15USD per night)

Inside Gili Garden Bungalows

The bathroom at Gili Garden

Verandah on bungalow

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After, we went in search of a great beach. We walked along the southwest beach and, after about 15 minutes of walking, Elaine realized she did not bring a bikini top with her. We kept walking hoping to find a nice private beach. We walked for another 30 minutes before we found a beach suitable for swimming. At this stage we had half circumnavigated the island. We realized most of the island is not suitable for swimming. However, the beach we found, on the South Eastern side of the island was suitable. But, it was not private. In fact, later, we realized this was just south of the main harbour and where everyone usually swims. We did not mind. We just wanted to relax. Elaine ordered some food and drinks and went to sleep on the chair overlooking the beach. She was still feeling unwell and was happy to chill out on a lunge chair in the shade.

Snorkelling off Gili Meno

School of fish and abyss drop off

I hired flippers and a mask ($3USD all day) and went snorkeling. About 15 meters out there were fish. Most of the coral had died. About 20 meters out there were large schools of fish. I swam toward them and then spotted the drop off – there is a ledge about 22 meters out that drops into an abyss. It was a little frightening at first. You could just see flashes of what was probably Giant Trevally about 25-50 meters down (impossible to tell).

After snorkeling, we walked around the rest of the island. The tide was going out and it was clear that most of the islands beaches were unswimmable at both low and high tide. We concluded that the water is too low at high tide and there are too many rocks. The only two real places for swimming on the island are outside Malia’s Child Bungalows on the southeastern side of the island (where we were snorkeling) and a small stretch of beach on the northern side of the island outside Sunset Gecko.

Dinner at Sunset Gecko, Gili Meno

That evening we had dinner at Sunset Gecko. The food was great. Elaine had the snapper fillet and I had the king prawns. These dishes cost $6USD each. Although a little slow to come out, there were worth the wait. The staff here were reasonable and the owner was very friendly. I would recommend eating here if you are residing on the Northern end of the island. Keep in mind though that they add a 10% service charge to the bill. This came as a surprise to us as most places on the island normally quoted a full price rather than adding tax afterward. We also had cocktails but they were nothing special. The sun was setting and eventually rested behind the northern end of Gili T. It was great to watch and far better than Jimbaran Bay.

While waiting for dinner, the Japanese owner had rounded up some locals to help him push the decommissioned boat shell 500 meters inland. The owner intended to rejuvenate the boat and restore it to its former glory. It took about 15 of us roughly 10 minutes get the boat to its new resting place. Twelve months later this boat will be hauling between the islands and probably transporting tourists. Somehow, I felt (and still feel) a connection to the shell of this boat. Perhaps in 2012 this boat is in the water and the owner has employed a captain and a deckhand, giving them English lessons and by employing them, helping to improve their life. This is the tourist economy.

Day 9

Elaine was feeling a little better this morning. We started walking back from the north of the island to the south when a cidomo driver offered us a lift. He quoted us a ridiculous price of around $6USD – we declined and kept declining his offers. He asked us where we were going and we told him the main harbor area. He said we were going the wrong way. He tweaked my mind – Are we walking down a dead end path?  He told us he would take us there for $3USD. I looked at the driver. He was a young man in his mid 20s and was wearing an old cream coloured shirt with holes in it. He appeared to need the fare. I looked at the horse. The horse looked fit, strong and well fed. Its head was raised and it was sporting a relatively new looking bridal and leather apparel. This made me feel like the owner took care of the horse well. Also, thinking that we might be going the wrong way, we agreed to take the cidomo.

Riding the cidimo was a tame experience. The driver was okay although I feel he hit the horse too much. He would tut every few minutes before making a sharp loud ‘Haar!’ sound followed by a tap with the whip if the horse showed any sign of slowing. This made me feel bad. I guessed the driver did not own the horse.

Gili Meno - just south of where the boats drop you.

When we arrived we decided to have a drink overlooking the eastern beach just south of the main harbor. This place had raised individual shelters that overlooked the beach. It was the perfect place to sip cocktails before heading further south to snorkel. The cocktails were average and a little pricey at $7USD each.

Shortly after, Elaine was happy to try snorkelling. Elaine is frightened of drowning as she thinks she cannot swim. While she is no Ian Thorpe, she can certainly float better than anyone I know and paddle better than the female Pakistani twins that accompanied us. After a quick pep talk and discussing the exceptionally strong undercurrent in the channel near the abyss, we headed out. The snorkeling was good. Nearly as good as the previous day. There was a large school of fish hanging around the drop off. I spent most of my time swimming between the girls making sure they were okay. In between I took some footage.

Ticket is booked to Kuta in Lombok: Our guide and Elaine

After this we decided we should book our ticket to Lombok for the next day. We approached a tour guide next to the harbor and booked a boat and car to take us to Kuta in Lombok (not Bali) for 40USD. The tour operator told us he would have to travel with us across to Lombok on the boat and until we got to a safe place to catch the taxi. Immediately radars went off in my head – ‘come with us…safe place…was he taking us for fools?’ I thought. He strongly advised that he needed to come with us and said he would not sell us the tickets otherwise as he said he wants to make sure we get to the taxi safely. After his incessant bantering we agreed for him to accompany us, which we later realized saved us a lot of trouble and possibly our luggage (I’ll go into this more on day 10).

We then headed to Good Heart bungalows (on the northern tip about 500 meters from our Gili Garden bungalow) to watch the sunset, sip cocktails, smoke a cigar, and have dinner. Watching the sunset in a semi-private location on the beach was really tranquil. Add to that the great quality, strong cocktails served by Good Heart bungalows staff and you have a great experience. One beautiful sunset, one large cigar, one drunken wife and three great cocktails later and we were ready for dinner.

The food at Good Heart Bungalows does not match the quality of the drinks. I ordered the chicken and my wife had the whole snapper. The food was okay but nothing special. However, by this stage, we had a few drinks so our capability of judging the food may have been impaired. The cocktails were so good that I asked the boss about where his drink maker was trained. The boss said he just followed the recipes, which had proven themselves over the years. Regardless, these were the best cocktails I’ve had in all of Malaysia, Vietnam, Thailand and Malaysia. Could it have been that I had been served sub-standard cocktails for the past two weeks and therefore these cocktails seemed great? Maybe. I recommend travelling to Good Heart Bungalows on the northern end of the island to watch the sunset and have drinks. There is more than one Good Heart on the island so make sure it is on the northern end of the island.

After dinner the staff lit a fire on the beach. We sat around it and had another drink before I went in for a quick swim. By this stage, I was a little drunk and Elaine ushered me out of the water to go back to our bungalow. What a great evening!

Day 10

As organised by the guide, a cimodo arrived at 7:30am and took our luggage and us to the boat ramp located on the other side of the island. I was happy to see that this cimodo driver did not hit the horse.

We caught the local boat with the guide operator at 8am. He sat at the very back of the boat with our bags and we sat in the middle of the boat. There were mostly locals on the boat and a few other tourists. It would seem that not many tourists venture across to Lombok this way. We were told our bags should stay at the back of the boat so that the boat was balanced. It made sense and our travel guide was with our bags at the back of the boat. So, we did not think our luggage was at risk.

The boat trip took about 15 minutes and when we arrived I was horrified. Before the boat had stopped a bunch of thugs from the beach were pulling everything resembling luggage off the boat and putting it onto the beach. We were around 10 meters away and watched one thug (looked similar to the rapper named 50cent) pull our bags off and run about 30 meters up the beach with them.

Elaine was off the boat first and was carrying her handbag. A few locals had pushed in front of me so I was a good 20 seconds behind Elaine. As I walked over to Elaine and our bags I saw 6 locals surrounding her and our bags and were asking for money. As I walked up to them one of the locals tried to intercept me by putting his hands up and saying ‘Hello, what travel company you take.’ I pushed past him and into the circle and picked up the bags. One of them tried to stop me by stepping in front of the bags and into my personal space and told me to pay them. I pointed to our travel guide who was standing 5 meters away and was on his mobile phone. A few seconds later he hung up his phone and talked with the locals. Their eyes darted onto him. I used this opportunity to pick up all our bags and start to walk away from them. One of them stood in front of me and said ‘You pay porter fee’ and held out his hand. I told them we did not ask them and did not want them to take our bags and that we thought they were stealing them. I told them what they were doing was wrong. I was angry and they could see that. They backed down and let me walk only to turn to Elaine and say: ‘You got money. You pay.’ Elaine told them to go away. ‘Who pay us then?’ they said in a very aggressive tone. Our tour guide turned around and gave them 10,000 IDR ($1USD).

“I cannot control them,” the guide said. “No-one can.” He quickly ushered us over to a cidomo (horse and cart) and we galloped up the street at pace. We stopped about 300 meters down and a taxi emerged from behind a bunch of trees. The taxi came screeching up to us and the tour guide quickly put our gear into the car and told the taxi driver to go. It seemed as if they wanted to go quickly. After giving a few cigarettes to the taxi driver he told us the locals do not let taxis into that area. It became apparent that the simple beach side thugs had bosses who were corrupt and prevented others from sharing in the business from the harbor. What world have we entered into I thought?

{You may think of us as being scrooges or lowlifes for not paying ‘the porter fee’ but these guys were very aggressive brutes and obviously try to make money by forcing tourists into paying them for a service that they did not request. I was also reluctant to get out my wallet as I thought it might get taken from me. Plus, 1 dollar to pick 2 bags up and put it on the sand seems ridiculous especially in a place where the average wage is 5 dollars per day. I would have carried our bags and would not have put them in the sand. I also prefer to give a little extra cash to honest people rather than reward thuggish behaviour}

***************** From Mimpimanislombok on the Lonely Planet website (a reply to this blog)*********************

There are several ports in Lombok – the one you landed at was Bangsal and is infamous for the aggressive touts etc. It is possible to avoid Bangsal and many tourists do – which is probably why there were not many on your boat. You can take the Perama boat to Senggigi or many private boats operate into Teluk Kodek and Teluk Nare.

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After a very fast and seemingly unsafe 2.5 hour drive we arrived at Kuta Lombok. The road was mostly very good. On the other hand, our driver seemed to have watched too many Speedy Gonzales movies and put the pedal to the metal. Along the way we saw glimpses of what appeared to be amazing beaches. We got excited – had we finally found paradise? Upon reflection we probably should have told the driver to stop and perhaps even spend the night at one of these isolated beach paradises.

During the long drive Elaine read about Kuta Lombok in the Lonely Planet book. She mentioned it was a crime area and that someone had been robbed at knifepoint along the beach. I told her that I had also read stories about people stealing the scooters from tourists to get quick cash. We agreed to be careful.

The taxi driver took us to the Matahari Inn immediately saying it was the best in town. We were quoted $25USD per night for the superior double room with hot water and air conditioning. The room is spacious, the bathroom is clean and modern, and the pool is nice. We were both happy with the room, the place and the price so we booked it. [Actually the Matahari Inn is a bargain for $25USD for a superior room. They might have offered us this price because there were not many guests. If you are going to stay at Kuta, Lombok this is the place to be staying at even though security is lapse].

Shortly after checking in we went for a stroll to Kuta beach. Upon arrival we were sadly disappointed. The entry to the beach was being used as a rubbish dump by the local kampong [The photo above is not of the second pile of rubbish which was smaller than the one behind me in the kampong—I didn’t photograph the kampong as the locals were already starting at us presumably for photographing this pile of rubbish).

The water at Kuta beach (Lombok) was exceptionally shallow and unswimmable. We walked along the beach in hope that it would improve. It did not. Plus, half way along the beach a teenage boy, probably around 13, came running up behind us making lurking gestures with a large machete and yelling at us to buy to buy a coconut. We politely said no thank you but he continued to follow us for around 50 meters. He was so close that I could see the shadow of the machete following us and hear his breathing over the sound of the wind. I’d had enough. I looked over my shoulder while watching his feet and torso and aggressively yelled with a pause in between: ‘Tidak! Berhenti! Awas!” (No! Stop! Beware!). He stopped but continued to stare at us as we walked further down the beach. I glanced back a few seconds later and he was making his way back toward the kampong. Elaine thought we were going to be robbed and was happy I intervened. The last thing she wanted was someone aggressively chasing us with a machete.

It was a real shame because the local children were playing soccer about 1km from where this occurred and many locals had come to see this match. If Elaine were more relaxed, we would have also spent more time watching them. Also, there were wild dogs roaming freely on the beach. This was a truly wonderful sight.

After the experience at the harbor, reading the Lonely Planet, and having an insistent young person follow us with a machete, Elaine felt unsafe. Elaine was also still feeling unwell so we headed back to the hotel so she could relax and rest.

After we entered the hotel a man approached us and told us he had a scooter for us. I asked him if he worked for the hotel. He said, “yes” in a stern tone. I had spoken with the receptionist earlier about hiring a scooter so it made sense.

He told me the price was 50,000 per 24 hours so I booked the bike for 2 days. He said you pay now so I did. However, accidently gave him two 100,000 IDR notes instead of one.

When I asked him for a receipt he refused and told me to trust him. He then told me there was no insurance and if you break the bike you have to pay. It was then I realized I could not trust this man. I looked at the bike and it had already been dropped at speed. I showed him the damage marks and he said he already knew about it. I did not trust him but had already paid him and figured that if he worked for the hotel we could at least complain to the other staff if he does anything dodgy.

A few hours later we ended up in the pool at the Matahari Inn. The pool area was well designed. It was surrounded by beautiful gardens and had a small man-made cave on the side. We had the entire pool to ourselves, as there did not seem to be many guests staying here. It was peaceful until around dinnertime when the mosque started up again. It was loud but bearable.

After swimming we rode the scooter to try to find a place to eat. We were surprised at how easy it was. We turned left out of the driveway of the Matahari Inn and travelled about 4 minutes along the same road and came across two local warungs (small, local restaurants) named Warung Jawa I and Warung Jawa II (no points for originality here – LOL).

Everything on the menu was $1USD and the portion sizes were large. The food was reasonable too. Later we realized these are the only local warungs close by and that is why we saw the same people eating there each time we went. I recommend going to these warungs rather than eating in the local hotels as they food here is cheap, a good price, and provides a local experience.

Day 11

I awoke at around 3am after hearing someone outside our unit trying to open our door with a key. I was in such a deep sleep that it took me a short moment to wake up and realize that I was not dreaming. Someone was trying to get into our room. I sprung up, pulled on some pants and raced to open the door. I swung the door open and walked outside. No-one was there. I walked swiftly along the pathway and tried to see if anyone had checked in upstairs as I figured some drunken guest had accidently tried their key in the wrong room. After walking along the veranda I realized there were no other guests in our hotel block. Although it is unfounded and completely illogical, I thought, ‘has the man who owns the scooter come to steal the key and then charge us for a new scooter?’ I went back to sleep and was then awoken by the mosque. The mosque was not really all that loud but, after having someone try to gain access to our hotel room, I was sleeping light.

We got up at around 8am and had breakfast at the hotel. It was very basic being a banana pancake with honey and black tea or a local coffee (the photo is of the next morning’s breakfast at the same place). Both were as you’d expect. Elaine was still unwell so we went to the local (apotek) pharmacy. When we arrived we realized it was actually a Dr’s clinic. Despite locals being in the waiting room we were ushered in to see the Dr immediately. I told the staff there that we would wait in line but they kept insisting to the point where others told us they were not waiting to see the Dr and that we should go in now. So, we went in. The Dr was trained in the West and spoke exceptional English for someone living in Kuta, Lombok. I was surprised.  Elaine was diagnosed with Hay Fever and swollen glands. Despite needing a script, the Dr sold us a course of pseudoephedrine for $5USD and sent us on our way – no script required, no Dr’s fee either. I did not know whether to feel good or bad about the free consultation considering the same locals were still waiting in the clinic when we left.

After this we were told by locals that there are beautiful, private beaches to the west (i.e., turn right and head up the hill) but were reminded to be careful on the motorbike, as there is no insurance. The road was okay for the first few hundred meters but soon worsened. There were more potholes than road and some holes were half a meter wide and 30cm deep and were compounded what I would guesstimate to be a 70 degree uphill slope. We stopped half way to let a truck past. With both brakes on and in 1^st gear, the bike slid backwards. It was then I realized how dangerous this hill was. The truck slid sideways at full revs trying to make it up the mountain. It sprayed small rocks all over the road, which made it more difficult for motorcycles to maintain traction on an already steep road. Shortly after we became victim to this road – we fell off the scooter at a crawling speed. I swerved to miss a pothole and the front wheel slid on the gravel into a pothole and the inertia threw us off the scooter and onto the road (I did not hit the front brakes). When we hit the ground Elaine had a small graze on her foot and I had a small graze on my elbow. However, the bike landed on my crotch, which prevented the bike hitting the ground and being damaged but also caused me considerable pain (I was dry reaching for a minute or so afterward and was not in a good way). We decided the road was too dangerous and went back to the hotel.

We chilled out in the pool that afternoon and was, once again, surprised by the sounds of the two mosques. The loud singing coming from 2 directions lasted several minutes.

That afternoon we decided we would leave Lombok the next day. Elaine was sick. I was getting sick. We did not trust some of the locals and Elaine really was opposed to going exploring on the scooter again as the roads heading up the hill were terrible. I also thought the man would try to charge us for the damage on the bike that the last person who used it had done. This happened to me in Thailand and I did not want it happening again. So, we went to a travel agent and booked a private car trip and 2 plane tickets to Denpasar, Bali. These cost a total of around 100USD (a one way flight cost 35USD for one person and the taxi cost 30USD). Upon reflection, it was a shame that we left prematurely. There are some wonderful spots on Lombok heading East (away from the hills) and, if we ever head back here again, we will be more astute. We will only hire a scooter from hotel staff. We will check the scooter for faults prior to hiring it. We will also avoid steep hills that have loose gravel on it – if in doubt, turn around. We would stay at the Matahari Inn again in the same room and eat at the local

Day 12

The private car arrived at 8am. Check out was smooth and unproblematic. The staff seemed blasé and simply told me to leave the key to the room on the table. I told them I would also leave the key to the scooter there. The manager told me he would pass it onto the man who rented it to me. I wish the ride to the airport was as easy as the check-out procedure.

Two young lads that spoke nearly no English were driving us to the airport. They were rather apathetic and it seemed as if they did not care about anything. We were driving at a reasonable and safe pace for the first half an hour until we got to the Sangkol Pasar markets. The driver seemed genuinely surprised that there was a severe traffic jam at the markets. This market was seriously chaotic. There were only two lanes on the road and stalls took up the walking path.

Above: We still had some momentum as we approached the market. The traffic came to a total halt about 50 meters ahead.

So, naturally, people walked on the road. The scooters going both ways pushed in front of the people and other vehicles effectively bottlenecking the entire traffic. So, people moved slowly in the same direction as the crowd, so did scooters. All other vehicles were motionless. When traffic controllers tried to let a car through the people would walk in front of the car and then the scooters from both directions would push in effectively stalling traffic all over again. It took us literally 2 hours to travel less than 200 meters. We got worried that we would miss our plane. We raised this with the driver and his co-worker but they did not understand. It was then they phoned someone who spoke English who then translated to them. They said we would miss check in and they would call ahead and ask the plane to wait for us. I thought ‘These guys are either mad or have never flown. As if a plane will wait for 2 people’. I humbly agreed that this was the best idea but acknowledged in my mind that we might have to wait and catch a flight the next day.

We eventually arrived at the airport 10 minutes before take off. It was a tiny airport that reminded me of a very large shed. It was reasonable for a small airport but everything there was ridiculously expensive even for western standards. A plain t-shirt was around 25USD. The staff there spoke very little English but were very nice.

*********PLEASE NOTE*************

“The other option of getting from Bali to Lombok is flying a local airline to Mataram (Ampenan, Lombok),”

The above statement is now incorrect. Since late last year, all flights to Lombok land at the new airport which is between Praya and Kuta, Lombok.

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We were shocked that they left the check in desk open for us and had already printed our boarding passes. I’ve never heard this happening anywhere else in the world. We paid the small airport tax (I think it was 5 dollars each).

Five minutes later we were walking out onto the bitumen and hopped onto a very small aircraft. While the interior seemed very old, the staff seemed professional, and we were very satisfied with the service they provided, especially for the price.

We landed at the Bali international airport around 30 minutes later. By this stage we were veterans at the airport. We grabbed our bags, walked out the front door, followed the road to the right and walked to go through the toll booths (that charge vehicles for entering the airport). As we were about to leave taxi drivers kept harassing us trying to charge us between 10 and 30 dollars to take us to Legian. We declined telling the driver that we would get a taxi from outside the gate. As we were about to leave one of the drivers said they would use their meter. So, we confirmed that with him. Then, we got in and he tried to negotiate again starting at 7 dollars. I told him we that he agreed to use the meter and it was a breach of contract to change his mind. He then switched on the meter. It cost around 5 dollars to get to Legian and took only 15 minutes. I thanked him for using the meter and gave him 10 dollars. He seemed happy.

After walking for what seemed like forever, we finally found a hotel that Elaine was happy with. The price was good, there was a reasonable restaurant attached to it, it had a pool, and the rooms were small, modern with a large king sized bed but a reasonable size bathroom.

The new section of the hotel

There was also free internet although the signal was rather poor and I had to sit on the stairs to get a signal. The hotel named was Sidoi and cost $35USD per night. {If you intend to stay at Sidoi keep in mind that there is a new and an old section of this hotel. My wife was shown the old section of the hotel first and hated the room. It was only when she said she did not want the room that they mentioned there were new rooms on the other side that were slightly higher in price}. The new section of the hotel boasts air conditioning, polished tiles, king sized beds, a small wardrobe, and a small typical Indonesian style bathroom with a western style toilet, a small sink, and a hose shower. The new rooms were cleaned well and definitely worth the extra $5USD per night when compared to the old room that Elaine refused to stay in. Keep in mind that the staff will show you the old rooms first hoping that you will accept that room as, I presume, the old rooms are harder to fill than the newer ones. The only down side to the new rooms is that they are small(ish). There was only just enough room for both of our bags on each side of the bed.

For the most part, this hotel is overstaffed with young boys who are clueless and an older man (I guess he is meant to be the concierge) who does not speak much English or have any real idea about tourist spots. We decided that we would spend the last few days trying to do some clothes shopping and thought that we had not found the real places to go shopping (as the shopping so far has been average). So, we asked the concierge who then sent us to a shopping center that did not exist. We even checked with 2 different taxi drivers and 1 Balinese tour operator who had a postgraduate education in Australia and spoke flawless English. After wasting half a day trying to find the shopping center that did not exist, we returned to the hotel.

Elaine had a swim and I looked for a good place for us to have a massage. I booked us in for after dinner. That afternoon we ate at the hotel. The food here was reasonably priced and was great. Elaine ordered the Indonesian mixed satay for 3.50USD and I ordered the pizza for 4.50USD.

Elaine had a facial too. From memory I think it was only another $2USD. Ear candle was $7USD.

The place located across the road from the massage shop. They would play music till around midnight.

That night we went for massages at the masseuse next door. The masseuse was great. Unfortunately, the photo go the outside of the shop has been corrupted and I’m unable to show it and nor can I remember the name of the place, but it is literally right next door to Sidoi and across the road from the club that sells magic mushrooms. Massages at this place were 6USD per hour and well worth every cent. When we went here, all the staff  were professionally trained, have a moderate level of english, and were happy to communicate with you during the massage to determine if you had any injuries or pain. This was very different from my experience in some other massage places in Kuta area. While most places were fairly good, in some places massages varied from a light rub to a painful beat down. This place found a great medium and we returned here many times over the next few days. I also tried the ear candle for $7USD. Sounds bizarre doesn’t it – an ear candle? They place a hollow candle inside my ear and  light it. The lady held the candle in my ear for several minutes and the entire time I could clearly hear the wick crackling as well as the air movement. It was an unusual sound at first but soon became a relaxing sound. After the ear candle expired the pressure that was around nose (i.e., I had a cold) had subsided. My nose was leaking the entire time as well as the wax being drawn from my ear. My ear seemed clearer and my balance seemed to return to normal – at least until I had a beer a few hours later, prior to going to sleep.

Day 13

When we awoke we asked the concierge to write instructions in Indonesian so we could give those instructions to a taxi driver who would then take us to an area that has great shopping for locals. The plan was to buy some western style knock offs at a low price just like the products offered in China Town in Kuala Lumpur (as I was informed nearly all the merchandise they sell in KL Petaling Street comes from Indonesia). As we soon discovered, this plan would never come to fruition. The concierge sent us to a 5 star hotel located next to the Discovery Mall Shopping Center. So, once again, we had started laughing and this confirmed that the concierge had no idea about what we were asking. We decided to just catch the same taxi to Seminyak as the Lonely Planet suggested this was the best place for shopping.

When we arrived, we noticed the main shopping center here was very nice. It took us 5 minutes to walk through the entire place. It was unimpressive and had products resembling those we’d already seen elsewhere in Bali—only 5 times the price, literally. This area was very clean when compared to Kuta.

We set off along the road from Seminyak and ventured in and out of the little boutique(ish) stores. We were very disturbed by the marked prices so we consulted the Lonely Planet book again. The commented about ET and suggested this stores has “out of this world” prices. See the above YouTube video for more information.

Some basic, average quality dresses were priced in excess of 100USD and these prices were not negotiable. The only thing I can figure is that rent is excessive and some European travellers would walk in and buy these dresses for 100+ dollars. It all became very clear to us when we saw a t-shirt in the window with a price tag of 30USD that was also on Kuta beach for 5USD. Even the hawkers in this area had excessive prices with dresses costing around 30USD that you could purchase for around 6USD in Sidoi 1 or 2.

We realized we were wasting our time here and continued to walk back toward Kuta. We did not buy anything.

That night, we went for dinner at MaccaroniClub Bali, which was a pleasant surprise. The food was a reasonable price and was great. As the name of the restaurant implies, the food offered is mostly Italian and most main dishes are around $8USD with desert being around $3.50USD. The chef here must have had extensive training as the food was flawless. The waiters were also well skilled and well mannered. The cocktails served were also made with quality ingredients (rather than cheap local spirits) and were as you’d expect in any premium club in Australia. I strongly recommend eating here if you want to have a quality, western style meal at an exceptionally good price by western standards.

Day 14

We decided that we would check out of Sidoi this morning as the concierge really had no idea. The place is worth the money but I really cannot understand why they have so many staff who seem to do very little. Also, I was shocked when I asked the concierge once again where we could go shopping and brought a map and he, once again, tried to send us to discovery shopping mall and Merdeka square. I told him very clearly that we have been to both these places and do not want to buy those kind of things. He simply did not know of any other places to go shopping – not even in Denpasar – and he did not make any effort to try to find out. So, if you do stay in Sidoi, know that you wont be able to get any information from the staff there.

We walked around 600 meters up Jalan Benesari toward the beach and ended up booking a hotel for around $50USD per night. Once again, the hotel was dated but it had a nice airy feel about it. Plus, there was more space and a verandah on the room that overlooked a very small pool. This was a nice change.

That day we decided that we’d like to see Ubud  - after all, it is strongly associated with Eat, Pray, Love and I assumed it would have a rather spiritual feel about it. I have to say, the Ubud shopping district was average, but the drive leading up to it was magnificent. I’ve never felt more at ease. The rice paddies and reflections off the pools of water were divine and I fell in love with the tranquility of the area. We paid the guide $40USD for the day. We did not try to barter and were happy to pay him this.

That evening we met our German comrades for dinner and then to go clubbing in Kuta. We now realised we should have done this when we first arrived. This is one of the main pulls to Bali – clubbing with your mates. The drinks in the main clubbing area in Kuta are reasonably cheap with cocktails being around $7USD, beers and shots at around $3USD each, and spirits at around $4USD. The place seems mostly safe and facilities are well maintained in the clubs. There are also hundreds, if not thousands, of other tourists clubbing – most of which come from Australia. To be honest, once you were inside you could be forgiven for thinking you were clubbing in Australia if it wasn’t for the cheap drinks and the Indonesian people working there.

We started the night out with a good feed at an exceptionally low cost warung named Gong Corner. While the food here was not comparable to MaccaroniClub, the place had a very relaxing vibe and seafood meals cost between $3.50USD for a whole Snapper (which is actually a Squire), $4USD for prawns, and $5USD for 2 crabs. Our German friends tell us this is the best value food you will get in Kuta and probably even in Bali. The crabs had robust depth of flavour starting with sweet soy ginger flavours dancing on the taste bugs and ending with a gentle chilli kick. The prawns, however, were a tad dry but still fine. All up, this is a great place to eat on a budget.

After dinner our German friends took us to the cheapest place to drink in Kuta. It is called the Green Box. Most drinks here are cocktails at around $2.50USD and are unique to this place.  The staff here are upbeat and friendly and most tourists come here for the cheap drinks prior to heading to the more expensive clubs. We downed a couple of unique vodka mixes that were moderate in alcohol content and obviously mixed with a few different juices. The tasted fairly good considering how cheap they were.

If I was travelling alone in Kuta I would definitely visit the Green Cube on my first night. This place is small enough to mingle with other tourists and the crowd that gather here are usually fairly laid back. The intimate layout of the place encourages intergroup communication and it is fairly easy to start chatting to someone next to you – in fact, it is difficult to avoid this. Consequently, the Green Box is a great place to get travel tips, meet new people who can become your clubbing buddies or possibly even a new-found-travel-partner.

After enjoying a few leisurely drinks and mingling with some Aussies we trotted off to the Sky Garden. When we arrived I was shocked to see that the man checking our IDs was sporting a fully automatic weapon. Don’t let the guards fool you. This club is amazing. We had a great time. The venue has 3 levels, was clean, modern, trendy, had free cocktails between 10pm and 11pm, cheap beers at around $3USD, live fire twirling, dancing girls (not my thing but it certainly did not lack in entertainment), several bars, and a number of dance floors playing different styles of music. This was a magnificent club. I would certainly recommend going here and partying the night away. It was a shame we had not discovered this place on day 1.

We spent the rest of the night here before taking a taxi back to our hotel and having a deep sleep.

Day 15

It is time to leave Bali. We pack our bags, have breakfast, and then check out. A sense of happiness and sadness enters my mind. I’m happy, because I’ve experienced a place that is certainly unique and that so many other Aussies have experienced too – I’ve done Bali. But, this also makes me sad. The locals here are mostly very good people who have exceptionally tough lives. Most manage to get by because we travel to their land. Their income is largely dependent on tourists and some of us Aussies use Bali as a cathartic place where we can either chill out and relax or simply go nuts without the same strict rules that apply in Australia. I’ve got mixed feelings and I am unable to say that Bali is amazing; nor am I able to say Bali is not a good place. Bali is….unique.

We spend the day walking around the streets and eventually make it to the airport late that afternoon. Unfortunately, when we arrive at check-in, we are told our names are not on the list of people flying once again despite us having a confirmation letter printed a few hours earlier from their website. Air Australia (strategic airlines) then became a complete joke – they’d lost our names twice! Then everyone was told that there was at least a 2 hour delay and that not everyone were going to be able to get on a flight that night. Eventually they confirmed we had booked our tickets and told us all that one of their planes was grounded and they had to fly in another smaller plane to fly us home. They told us that we could fly home via Darwin or stay till midnight and take a Virgin Blue flight. We were tired of Air Australia so we decided to fly Virgin Blue. Included in this layover, which we did not know at the time, was a hotel room for 5 hours. We assumed the hotel would be an average place but were okay with that. We boarded the mini bus provided by the airline and were taken to the Ramaya Garden hotel near the airport.

The hotel was lovely. The receptionist spoke perfect english, the rooms were very clean, spacious, with a king bed, a sizeable bathroom, a verandah and all the luxuries you’d expect at a hotel in the West. The pool was huge with a Jacuzzi, a swim up bar, 2 restaurants, and it was right on the beach. What a place.

We immediately headed for the pool bar and ordered 3 ‘Crazy Horse’ cocktails for $15USD (they were on special). After loosening up we had a quick swim around the pool and then made some new aussie friends in the warm spa bath located on a deck above the pool. There were around 6 friends in this Aussie group and they all seemed to be sharing the same room and paying rougly $200AUD per night for 2 double beds. I’m not so sure how they would all fit in the room or whether the staff knew that they were all sharing a room. I guess they would have a very unpleasant sleep. Holidaying in Bali is an annual ritual that they enjoy. They say they enjoy doing day trips and then eating somewhere fancy for dinner and then going clubbing or riding the scooters for hours, relaxing by the pool, and meeting other Aussie mates for drinks.

I can see how this routine might be appealing (apart from sleeping 6 to a room). You get to experience all the good sides of Bali (for an Aussie tourist) without having to experience or pay attention to the negatives or the struggles the locals have. Bali can be a low cost destination for Aussies with good food and drinks on offer, a reasonable beach to visit at any time of the day or night, a great warm climate, more financial freedom, less road rules, cheap transport, and many other Aussies – in fact, so many Aussies that you could nearly be back in Australia. Also, if you stay in the one 5 star environment the entire time, eat in high end restaurants, have a few cocktails with other Aussies in great clubs, and see Bali from the back seat of a modern, airconditioned minivan, then you really do not have any exposure to the harsh reality of Balinese life and can still enjoy all the great aspects of Bali. Also, catching up with a group of mates in an exotic 5 star, affordable hotel in a semi-exotic location is something most would look forward to. It also means escaping the daily grind of the Aussie work routine which can be stressful, monotonous, frustrating and full of red tape and bureaucracy.  In fact, Bali can be the opposite of all these things.

Dinner that evening was provided by the airline. We dined on all-you-can-eat satay sticks which cost the airline $15USD per person. Although the taste was great, the variety was good, and the outdoor location was nice, I could not justify the price in any way. I could only think that the chef would be paid less than $150USD per month and we were spending 10% of his monthly wage on one meal. I thought to myself: ‘Life is really unfair.’ I wondered how the staff in the hotel felt about people like us, some of whom are bogans, spending large amounts of money on luxuries that they are unable to afford because they were born and work in a third world country. Perhaps these guys are far better off than the unemployed Indonesians – perhaps they even see themselves as being lucky as they are working in a 5 star resort – but they will never have the purchasing power that people from the first world have inherited. It was then when I realised how lucky first worlders are. I wish that oneday I will have enough wealth to be able to return to a place like Bali and work with certain locals to improve their KSAs so that they can then create systems, services, charities and businesses and pass on those KSAs to the local community. I feel that this development would help alleviate some of the poverty and, in time, enrich society. I thought about this while catching an hours sleep prior to heading to the airport for our early morning flight.

Day 16

We are at the airport and have waited in line for nearly 1 hour when we finally make our way to the front of the que. The flight is leaving at around 1am and we are dead tired. Everyone else from the layover were directly in front of us and had already been checked-in. Unfortunately, the staff told us after seeing my wife’s passport that her Australian visa was invalid. I told her that she was mistaken as we’d been married for 5 years and that it was a genuine passport and visa. The lady did some more searches on the computer; then her superior came across and also did some searches, then someone else came and did some searches; then we were told the computer system was down and that we’d have to wait at the counter till it was back up. We thought this was a lie as we were waiting for a further hour while other passengers were still being checked in on either side. It got to the point where we were the only passengers left, check-in had closed, and we were about to miss our flight. I was unhappy and got really angry. I did not yell but kept a very stern tone while inquiring why we were still waiting to be checked in. After a few minutes of interaction an Indonesian-looking man wearing a hawiian shirt stepped forward and told us in a thick Aussie accent that he is on hold with the Australian Department of Immigration. He also said that he has confirmed the validity of my wife’s visa and is now working on marrying the visa to the passport. We thought this was very strange as Elaine had flown using this visa and passport many times and never had an issue – until now!

After a few minutes we were checked in and told to hurry to the plane. We hightailed it through the airport to the aeroplane gate only the have the plane delayed again for a further 30 minutes. Eventually, we boarded the Virgin Blue flight and set off for home. We were glad to make this flight and very happy to be going home. For us, Bali was an experience. I would like to return someday. Not because it is paradise or because our money goes further here than back home, but because the Balinese seem to be genuinely good people. Some of the tourism workers stories really touched a place in my heart. Reality bites like a crocodile and the reality is that our lives are exceptionally good in the first world and we have nothing to complain about. Then again, most of us, including me, are hippocrits and do not have the solution to world poverty. And that, my friends, is reality. SNAP!

Definite must dos:

1. Eat at Macaroni in Kuta
2.  Go clubbing in the Sky Garden and watch some of their shows on various levels (we saw the fire dancing on, I think, level 2). Three different cocktails are free upstairs between 10 – 11pm.
3. Try an Ear Candle at a massage salon – I’ve never seen this procedure anywhere else in the world. It costs around 6USD and probably is not really worth the money, but you’ll probably never be able (or wanting) to get it done elsewhere. It did improve my hearing and clear out the ear wax.
4.  Play a local in a game of pool out the back of Discotheque. Games cost 1USD and the locals will only play you if you want to gamble with them. ADVICE – play one game only. If you win, give them their money back. If they try to play you a few games, know that when the stakes go up you will lose. They are honest but they can also be thugs. Never gamble more than 5USD per game or try to cheat. Also, listen to at least one of their life stories - even those of you who think you’ve had a rough life will be gobsmacked.
5. Try local food Nasi Campur style. There is a great place called Warung Nikmat on Jalan Bakung Sari GG. Biduri No.6 in Kuta. Step around the corner and point to the food you want. The lady will give you a card with a price on it. You pay after you’ve eaten. The food is clean and safe to eat unless you are allergic to chili, fish oil, shrimp paste, or peanuts.
6. Take the time to listen to at least one local’s life story. Most of the locals have a life story, which, to us, seems like a very difficult and hard life. To them, their story is just normal as nearly everyone has a story. Life is tough for locals in Bali. Most earn around 100USD per month and do not see their families very often. Life seems far less stressful in the first world when you really listen to the locals life stories.
7. Take a drive up to Ubud (as shown above), the scenery along the way is breathtaking.
8. Check out Denpasaar even if it is only for a few hours at the shopping centre. There are no hustlers, no hawkers, no-one trying to get you to buy things, and most people are much more relaxed. It is a direct contrast to Kuta.

Surprises:

1. Kuta beach in Bali is average and it is difficult to relax, as there are many hawkers.
2. It was not really that hot in Bali in June 2011 when we were there. It was also a little chilly at nighttime. We did not use the air-conditioning at all.
3. There were few low price, quality shopping opportunities in Bali except for batik clothing, sarongs and surf wear.
4. Locals, even those who work in 3 star hotels, do not speak much English
5. Drugs, magic mushrooms, and Viagra were being offered to us repeatedly while out in Kuta Bali and Gili Trawangan despite drugs carrying the death penalty.
6. Locals will give you directions even if they have no idea where you are asking to go. This happened several times to us. Also, the Balinese concept of a few hundred meters can be rather inaccurate. We used a map provided by a sister hotel and walked for 30 minutes along the correct route. This 30 minute walk was meant to be 1.2kms. Double check that they actually mean meters and not kilometers.
7. The sex industry is largely hidden in Kuta despite locals selling stickers and shirts that are uncouth and illegal to display in most western countries.
8. Cows milk is luxury in Bali – they didn’t stock it in most of the 3 star hotels we stayed at.
9. Bali coffee is simply a very strong, large black espresso with floating coffee granules.
10. Balinese shop owners seem to think it is good sales practice to harass potential shoppers by trying to drag them into their shop. This, however, usually drives the shoppers away. Well, at the very least, it drove us away and made a gentle older lady yell at a shop owner.

11. Like most 3^rd world countries, the hawkers all sell basically the same products and therefore aggressively market their stall so that you feel obliged to buy from them before you reach the next store. After a few days it gets overbearing and eventually irritates you.

12. The quality merchandise made in Indonesia is exported to Malaysia and Singapore and not sold in Bali. This was a large shock to me.

13. The Lombok port is operated by Mafia style thugs who are fine with harassing small, Asian females. They focused all their attention on getting money from my 157cm 42kg wife and got increasingly more aggressive when I took both of our bags from their hands and told our guide to take care of the thugs before there were more problems.

14. Bali is not the tropical paradise you would expect. It is good, but nothing amazing. To be honest, it’s a great place to party with mates, run amuck, do some light surfing, and meet other Aussies, but it is not exactly a romantic paradise unless you pay a lot of money to stay in 5 star places and never go outside the hotel grounds. It would seem that those people who love Bali  fit into 2 categories: 1. those that like to meet friends there and go clubbing as well as indulge in drinking and relaxing on the beach; &, 2. those that stay in a 4 or 5 star resort, do day trips and tours using more expensive tour operators, and rarely venture outside the resort by themselves.